This post has been brewing for a wee while.
Over the last few months – since maybe November 2017 – I’ve written no more than a couple of thousand words and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
Is this writer’s block? Well, I wouldn’t call it that as such. I certainly don’t have any lack of ideas – it’s more that I have no appetite to move those ideas forward. I’ve never felt such complete apathy towards putting words on the page. In fact, this post is probably the most words I’ve written in one evening in a long, long time.
Has this issue arisen out of recent events in the genre? The Santino Hassell and Riptide debacles? Well, inasmuch as the issue predates those events, no. However, I must admit, those events have shaken me. Thanks to my utter crapness at networking and social media, I was pretty oblivious to how toxic things were in the genre till all this started coming out. Now that I do know, it’s thrown up some questions I need to give some thought to.
So, what does this actually mean, going forward?
Writing-wise, it means I’m giving myself permission to not try to write. I don’t know when I’ll start again (I hope it’s when, not if). Now that I’ve taken the immediate pressure off myself, maybe I’ll even start tomorrow. That would be lovely (but I’m not holding my breath).
So far as the Riptide situation is concerned, readers may have seen a number of authors reporting getting their rights back and choosing to self publish those works. In all honesty, I would have liked to do that with my two Riptide titles but I can’t. This is because they are part of a Riptide-owned universe and Riptide’s position is that they are not giving rights back on titles in universes they own. That means my choice is to take the books out of publication altogether or leave them where they are. I’m going with the second option.
As for social media, I’m going on a hiatus. I’ve been on one for the last few days and will just pop on briefly now to link this post before taking a complete break from the two platforms I use – Facebook and Twitter – for the rest of this month. My provisional plan is to return in April, depending on how things go. I would like to think that, by then, my writing mojo might be back, because the thought of not having writing in my life makes me very sad indeed. But I’ll have to see. Fingers crossed, a couple of weeks of a break will make a difference.
Finally, and with some regret, I’ve decided not to attend the UK Meet in September. This has been playing on my mind for a while. I don’t know why, but making an irreversible decision not to go lifted a weight off me. I’m not sure why, Maybe if I knew the answer to that, I’d know the answer to all the other questions I have.
In closing – can I just say that I am fine. I am very, very fine. Nobody needs to commiserate with me or worry for me. Writing is my hobby, not my job. I have a RL job. I also have other great stuff in my life. The truth is, I LOVE writing and when it’s going well it makes me really happy – but it’s not my everything. So although this post is a bit downbeat, it really is all okay 🙂
And you know what? I feel better for writing this. Somehow making this ‘official’ is a massive relief. And yeah, I’ll probably come crawling back in a couple of weeks with my tail between my legs feeling a bit embarrassed about making such a big deal about things. But that’s okay. I’m giving myself permission to do that too ❤
Take care, everyone.